Look out…rant ahead!
Maybe I’m feeling especially cynical having been in the hospital for the second time in two weeks. Or maybe people are just stupid. Or maybe it’s both.
This is going to be one of the rare times you see/hear/read me rant. I am normally way too laid back for that. However, when I do get riled up about something, it is usually important (at least to me).
The background: My wonderful husband, thin, in shape, healthy…with a defective heart valve. 1995: Open heart surgery to repair the valve. 1996-2003: Ablations to correct irregular heart rhythm. 2003: Pacemaker 2005: New Pacemaker.
The disclaimer: First of all just let me say that in general I feel that if you aren’t hurting anyone else with your bad habits, go for it. It’s still a free country, right? However, when you begin to infringe on others (which can happen in a variety of ways) all bets are off. For example…smokers. (If you are a smoker: I have nothing against smokers as people. I really just worry about you. I think almost anyone would agree that smoking is bad for your health. I wish you would take care of yourself. People love you and want you to be around for as long as possible.)
The rant: What the hell is wrong with people? You have a perfectly good heart and yet you insist on making it sick. Medical history of the man in the room with Jim (no privacy when there is only a thin curtain to separate you from the next bed)…pack a day smoker for 20 years, throat cancer, heart attack, pneumonia, diabetic, stints in heart and an angiogram. You would think after they burned the crap out of his throat to get rid of the cancer that he would stop. Nooooooo. Let’s keep smoking so that the general public can pay for my care since I have no insurance. So what is he in the hospital for…to get another angiogram since he has been experiencing shortness of breath. DUH!!!! Quit smoking you idiot! Not only is it bad for your lungs, but it also causes all kinds of heart problems. Which brings me to my point…it’s so not fair that the majority of people start out with a perfect heart and then do these crazy things to screw it up while my husband who really takes care of himself got screwed with a crappy heart. It just makes me crazy!
10 comments
I soooo agree with you!
My husband has a heart condition, (self-inflicted), and it seems that I can’t kick him in the ass nearly enough…
It seems very odd to me to be a person under the age of 40 who has to think about things like, “how long is my husband going to live?”
Not, “will he die tomorrow in a car accident,” but, how long until all of his actions finally catch up with him for good? It is basically a dark cloud that hangs over things, from financial planning to just plain thinking about the future. I know that I will be a widow sometime within the next 15 years, and his kids will lose their dad. It’s crazy.
To be fair, he had the heart condition when I met him, but he doesn’t do much in the way of helping himself be more healthy. It is selfish, period–no way around that.
Thanks for the topic.
I totally understand how you feel about smoking. My husband finally stopped 1.5 yr ago. It really bothered me that he wouldn’t quit for so long. I can’t even say what it was that made him stop. But now that he has he really can see how smokers affect the people around them and how stupid they are to themselves. The addiction gave him blinders!
Great rant! The smoking one really gets to me. Five years ago, we lost a co-worker to lung cancer. People that watched her suffer and die are still out smoking. I guess it speaks to addiction and everything, but really! I could go on and on about this. I agree, it’s only out of love that we want people to quit, and it does impact us all.
I’m so upset!! You are totally right. I stopped smoking like a year ago. I never smoked more than a package a week but I do recognize, even then, that it was nasty habit!!!
So, one day after yoga, I take out my clothes and the smell on it was simply disgusting: pure nicotine sweat. I feel so sad about myself. Thinking.. and forgive my indiscretions, what does my husband smells when he hugs me???? Do I smell like this all the time?
Believe it or not (cause I know the real consequences of smoking) this tiny and vain detail was the responsible for quitting.
Now I have to struggle with the same questions you all have: when will my husband quit? How much will he live? How can I make my knitters smokers friends that the smoke they produce is going directly to my lungs?
Here in Mexico is just becoming usual to have separated rooms in public places. I read in the news paper yesterday that soon in this year will be illegal to smoke in certain public places. About time! So, I’m hopping between the office prohibition and this new law, my husband will be pushed to quit.
Apart from my opinion… Shelly, receive from far away a big, fat, warm Mexican hug.
M
Hey CK, I so totally feel your pain. . . we can only keep pushing and hoping. I hope your husband is well.
I think it’s harder to deal with a loved one’s illness than to deal with it yourself. In my case, I know what scares me, and I know how good or bad I feel on any given day, and I had the EXTREME vindication of hearing the doctors say “this is not your fault at all” (when a lot of people spent most of my life assuming my issues were my fault). My husband, on the other hand, had to sit back and watch me go through something scary and not be able to do anything at all to help. He definitely got the raw end of the deal.
I’ll keep your husband in my prayers!
CK, no worries, hon. I realize that it’s hard to understand about giving up an addiction, even for your own good unless you have HAD that addiction. And I agree, it DOESN’T make much sense NOT to quit, but reaching the decision to actually do so was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Hi Cheryl — boy, I so agree with you — and you are very justified to your rant here! I hope your husband does better, but it must be really frustrating. Good luck to you in your future. And thanks so much for the contest entry!!!
We have the NHS in the UK. Everyone pays for everyone elses healthcare, a few quid a month out of your wages. This is great. People slag off the NHS but at least we have one! If you’re ill you don’t have worry about medical bills, or if your insurance covers it etc.
I am an ex-smoker and I have no issues with smoking at all. Its your lungs, go for it. But why should they take up all the hospital beds while folk who look after themselves sit on waiting lists?! They were talking about making smokers pay for their smoking related illnesses unless they gave up, but it never happened. I reckon it as a good idea.
AMEN to that sister!!!!! I am a critical care nurse and I see that kind of stuff everyday. People like you and your husband who try to do everything right (and my Dad and Mother-in-law also) and seem to get the raw end of the deal and then others like your hubby’s room-mate and what makes it all worse is that THEY usually don’t ‘feel’ as sick or get better while the people who are trying feel like crap or can’t seem to get things turned around. It’s all INSANE! You wanna know what else totally SUCKS about that all? The people who don’t care about themselves or their health are the first ones (at least it seems this way) to be approved for ‘disability’ and ’social security benefits’ and those who are trying all they can get denied, and DEnied and DENIED!!!!! I can’t stand it some days. Personally, too bad for them. You sick and keep smoking? No disability for you. You have an MI and are still overweight and out of shape? Oops, sorry, nope we can’t just ‘give’ you your medicines and healthcare. You too STUPID to follow the doctor’s orders? Well, gee, then you will HAVE to find a way to pay for your care b/c you weren’t doing what you needed to do. Where is the fairness for those people who have no control over what is happening to them (congenital problems or inherited diseases) versus all the people who drink themselves into liver failure, eat and sleep themselves into heart failure or smoke themselves into cancer, emphysema, COPD, etc. . . .
AURGH! Ok, I am steppind down from the soap box before I pick it up and throw it into somebody. . . . . .
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