After the gas debacle with my PCP, I decided to let it go for a while and hope it was nothing.  A couple of months later I’d had a couple of minor episodes and then one major one in December.  I thought this might require further study.  Then in February I had an attack so severe I did go to the emergency room.  It was so bad an hour after the first morphine dose they had to give another.  The xray showed inflammation in my bowel and I was told to followup with a gastroenterologist.  The pain was so bad it scared me into doing it immediately.  All clear.  Followed up with OBGYN.  All clear.  Ok, guess I’ll just forget about it for a while.  A couple more minor episodes then boom, another big one in August.  I decided to switch PCPs, this one was more thorough and it was almost a year since my first episode, which must’ve made it seem more serious.  Abdominal CT all clear.  We decided if it continued I should follow up with a gastroenterologist again.  Of course, it did, I did, and an upper GI, gastric emptying test and another scan later still all clear.  I give serious props to this doctor because she seemed to take me seriously and suggested when the tests all came back clear that it might be time for exploratory surgery with a general surgeon.

In the meantime, I had of course been googling, fretting, researching and thinking I might be crazy.  The only thing I could seem to find that made sense was ovarian cancer. I know it’s exceedingly rare, especially in my age group, but it kept popping up. Unfortunately there are no definitive symptoms to ovarian cancer but pain, fullness and generally feeling unwell are signs.  Which made me go back to the OBGYN again.  I suggested it might be time for a CA125 test.  For those of you who don’t know what this is, it’s a blood test for a tumor marker frequently associated with ovarian cancer.  It’s elevated in 80% of women with OC.  However, it can also be elevated in benign conditions and when the peritoneal cavity is irritated.  More statistics about CA125 here. Since he knew I was well aware it might be meaningless he agreed and we did an ultrasound at the same time to look for abnormalities.   Ultrasound was clear, the CA125 was not.  Normal is <35, mine was 53.  At that point I knew not to worry, we didn’t see anything abnormal on the ultrasound and it could just be randomly elevated.  We agreed to test again in 2 months and do another ultrasound when I was due for my annual exam anyway.  We set it up so I would do the blood test first then exam a couple of day later so he could give me the results in person.  After the blood test I got a call asking if I could come in for an ultrasound immediately.  My CA125 had doubled in 2 months to 102.  This ultrasound was not clear.  They found a large growth with vascularity and other features of a malignant growth.

Surgery was set for March 17, 2011.  Surgery was robotic again with the understanding that if they found something bad this could change to an open procedure.  The main growth seen on the ultrasound was growing on my inferior vena cava (not good, blood loss possible) and there were several other growths which tested benign.  This was an unusual presentation; since I’d already had a hysterectomy and the growth was on a precarious spot, my doctor left the tumor intact and recommended I get a second opinion at the Cleveland Clinic or Mayo.  Fortunately I already had a trip scheduled to the Phoenix area in two weeks and could try to get an appointment at the Mayo there.

Long story somewhat shorter I had an appointment at the Mayo and he felt strongly due to my pain that I undergo surgery again.  Being the Mayo, he has seen probably the most of this unusual presentation as almost anyone and other cases he saw reported pain as well.   So…I had a second surgery on 4/21, a week ago Thursday and exactly 5 weeks from the first one.  He was extremely thorough and this time found a 3 inch tumor growing on my sigmoid colon, LEFT side in addition to the one on my IVC and 14 other smaller growths.  Again it was done robotically and my recovery has been more difficult although I’m sure still easier than those who have open procedures.  After all this the frustrating thing is that I could have told them by where the pain was located exactly where there was something wrong.  However, when they do a colonoscopy they only see the inside of the colon, not the outside.  Since the colon is so folded this also presented a problem with detection.

So the million dollar question is why did all this happen?  Those of you that know me would guess that I’ve done a ton of research and I have.  The short answer is they don’t really know why.  The longer answer is that they are finding more cases of disseminated peritoneal leiomyomatosis (benign uterine fibroids growing in the abdominal cavity) in women who’ve had laparoscopic hysterectomy. There also appears to be a genetic component which might explain why not everyone who has a laparoscopic hysterectomy for fibroids develops this complication.  With the rarity this occurs and with most cases being asymptotic and only discovered incidentally I’m not sure there is a real caution here.  However, the real lesson is that you are the only advocate for your health…no one cares about you more than you!  Even with as diligent as I was the last year of this it still took a really long time to diagnose and could have gotten a lot worse had I decided to hold off on the final surgery.  Had this been cancerous I shutter to think where I might be now since the time I first experienced pain was a year and 10 months ago.  If you know something isn’t right with your health, pursue it.  So many times it’s not “all in your head.”

Proofreading this, it all seems so “matter of fact.”  And it is, but all of this was so much more to me especially the past couple of months.  I tried not to talk about it too much because I don’t like to worry people and I don’t like to complain. I travel quite a bit so wondering when the next episode was going to hit whether it would be bad and if it was going to come at an inconvenient time was always in my mind.  I endured it at random times when I had to be functioning.  One of the bad episodes was during a yoga training.  One came on a plane.  One came on a day full of teaching.  It made eating, yoga practice, working and living all difficult at times. I didn’t feel like myself or even act like myself much of the time.  All that aside, the physical pain was nothing compared to to the prospect of having cancer at the tender age of 38. I’m so grateful to be cancer free and I can only say after experiencing a little taste of the fear that comes with that how much I admire those that deal with the disease on a daily basis.  Yes, us “healthy” people know they have a great battle and are in pain but I have a whole new appreciation for that now.  There is no test for ovarian cancer, but please listen to your body, get your pap every year and rub the boobies monthly!

Merry Christmas!

Completely unrelated but newsworthy, I have a new blender!  After reading this blog post I was inspired to try green smoothies.  Before you click away…it was actually good!  You know I’ve long had a fondness for smoothies, but vegetables were never something I add to it.  It was a revelation to me to realize I could leave the tops on organic strawberries in my blends up to now.  Not wanting to shell out the money for a Vitamix, I went with the blogger’s suggestion of the Ninja.  There were lots of favorable reviews on Amazon, some of whom were even able to compare it to a Vitamix having used both.

For the first test I just had it chop ice, which it did perfectly.  I could have made it into a snowcone.  Then I made Raw Zucchini Soup with Crushed Pistachios, which I hadn’t made since the first time I had it.  That was a great test for the blender and it didn’t disappoint.  The soup was very creamy and smooth.  I also added extra garlic and some ginger this time which added great flavor.  This morning the test was my first every green smoothie.  I checked two different stores for frozen kale with no luck (it wouldn’t have even occured to me there is such a thing but Chris mentioned it) so I went with fresh.  Again the blender was great, everything pulverized into tiny bits.

Here is therecipe:  5 oz fresh kale, 1 banana, 10 medium strawberries, 1/2 cup vanilla soy, 3/4 water, 2 T vegetable protein.  Blend until smooth.  If you don’t mind the extra calories, another banana would have made it extra delicious!  Another thing I’ve been making lately is kale chips.  Ridiculously easy and verytopping for soups, potatoes, etc.tasty!  Kale, olive oil, sea salt, lemon juice and nutritional yeast all to taste.  The kale tastes great raw too dressed this way!  My only caution is to go easy on the salt as they tend to taste saltier when they’re finished.  Dehydrate and enjoy.  If for some reason you don’t like them straight up they also make a nice salty topping for soups, potatoes, etc.

While packing I was looking for this hat (still haven’t found it) and instead found a hat I don’t think I’ve shared on the blog before.  I can’t believe that EVER happens but I know it does, especially with smaller projects.  I tracked down the yarn to this post, merino I spun in the Pansy colorway from BeeMiceElf.   I’m guessing I knit the hat shortly afterwards so that narrows it down to a period of about a year since I made it.  It’s cute but I really prefer the other one.  Apparently, it can get pretty chilly on top of the mountain even in June so it’ll have to do if I can’t find the blue one.  Looking at this hat I realize just how much work my spinning needs.  I’m sure it’s even worse than I imagine now that it’s been eons since I’ve touched the wheel.

If you don’t hear from me for a while now you know why.  Please send some good vibes my way, particularly ones of confidence, healing and support!  Oh, and don’t forget about the giveaway!  You have up to 8 chances to win yarn and other fiber related goodies.