being a diva is great…except for the mostly negative connotation

Well that was quite a long and unintended silence!  Where to begin?  Ah, well, since this IS still a knitting blog…on with the knitting!  I have been focused on Vivian (per one of the New Year’s Resolutions I have yet to share with you) which has produced significant progress. Funny, that.  If you work on something it actually gets done?!?  As you can see, the sleeves are attached and am a few rows into the yoke decreases.  I am on the 17th skein of Sulka and fear I need several more.  I’d like to get some more done on my upcoming trip to AZ but I’m not sure I want to haul this around.  Socks travel far easier  but if I take it I might actually have chance to wear it this season.  I’ll give that some more thought when I begin packing later today.

Just in case you wondered about the marathon in Jaunary, it was a success.  My dad finished in under 4 hours to qualify for the Boston Marathon at age 60.  YAY!  It was a little bit difficult to be around all of that and not be able to participate but the excitement of my father running made it much easier.  Phoenix and P.F. Changs put on a great event with the RNR series.  For being the largest one day marathon event in the WORLD (including 1/2 marathon participants) it was surprisingly well run.  It would seem that any event that big might have some problems, but at least on the surface and from our perspective, everything went very smoothly.

Merry Christmas everyone! I’m writing to you via Gogo wireless on a Delta jet in route to Arizona. Isn’t technology crazy? While catching up on my blog reading, I came across this great contest to win a Tassimo coffee system. It makes single servings in just a minute.

Go check it out and be sure to let me know if you win!

Part of every trip I take is getting my travel knitting together.  This poor Vivian sweater has been back and forth to Arizona multiple time and yet has languished  on the needles since December 18th of LAST YEAR. 1  It probably wasn’t the best choice for a travel project then either, cast on for last year’s trip to AZ around Christmas.  Our trips typically include plenty of relaxation time and knitting time yet I haven’t been able to force myself to pay attention to Vivian.  As you can see there are plenty of cables and multiple charts which require some focused knitting.  It would be great to have this beautiful sweater in time to wear for the rest of winter, so I’m really going to try to give it some quality time this trip.

Of course, I still need a mindless project for times when I just can’t do focused knitting so I cast on some new socks.  I chose the beautiful Veronica yarn from Dizzy Blonde Studios and used my typical Judy’s Magic cast on, 24 stitches each sock, US 1, magic loop.  I decided it might be good to knit something besides the monkey pattern again so I found an easy lace pattern; Coupling from Knitty.com.  I’m sure anything will be lovely with this yarn but I can’t wait to see what the yarn/pattern combination looks like a little further along.

I’m shocked I got in another post before Christmas, but I was inspired (or procrastinating) so there.  I hope you have a wonderful and safe holiday.  I normally don’t do resolutions but I’m planning some big ones for 2010.  I’m going to share them here so I’ll have some perceived responsibility to work on my list throughout the year.  I’ll be posting a resolutions list soon and I’m looking forward to reading some of yours too!

1. Isn’t that one of the best things about Ravelry.com?  You know exactly how long your WIPs have been laying around.  Guilt helps get knitting finished. [↩]

I’m long overdue for a finished knit item!  Somehow I stretched these socks into multiple trips and two months of knitting. They make me so happy that I may have gone a little overboard with the pictures. They are my first Wollmeise knit item.  I was never able to purchase Wollmeise at any of the updates.  If you’ve tried before, you know they sell out in like -250 nanoseconds.  I finally decided to go with one of their grab bags which are easier to get due to the cost (5 skeins at once).  I figured any I didn’t like would be easy to sell, but I needn’t have worried.  All of the colors are gorgeous, for which Wollmeise is best known.1  The yarn itself is nice, but really nothing special.  It is a little unusual though with 8 plys.  I think it might make it wear better than other sock yarns.  I’ll be sure to report on that after I’ve had a chance to test that theory.

Thanks again for all the support and concern over my knee situation.  Obviously, I’m no longer training for the Phoenix Marathon.  I toyed with the idea of still walking the 1/2 marathon, but Jim threatened divorce.  On a positive note, my father’s training is still on track so it looks like at least one Schnellenberger will be running on January 17th, possibly with a Boston qualifier time!  I’m looking forward to still being able to check out the expo and experience the marathon vicariously through my Dad.

On a daily basis I don’t have any pain as long as I’m taking the diclofenac.  I went off of it for a few days as an experiment and that was NOT good.  I’ve been trying to keep up some kind of workout routine by going to the gym, but I HATE the elliptical machine.  It’s not so much the fault of the elliptical, but I really just don’t like being inside.  My gym does have televisions and corresponding audio to plug into on each machine but it doesn’t take away the boredom.  The Kindle didn’t work either.  I’m looking forward to my time in Arizona so I can hike or bike every day.  I figure giving my knees a rest by not going to the gym will allow me to take full advantage of my time there (nice excuse for not working out, bah).

The weight loss has stalled in part I think from not running and in part from depression over the situation.  I’m holding steady though and that is fine for now until the holidays are over.  That said, I’ve lost a total of 15 pounds since beginning my “diet” 9/13/09.  Some have asked why I’m losing weight, I already look good, etc…which by the way is great for my ego and very sweet.  Just to reiterate, I was never overweight for my height and I realize I’m not “fat”.  However, I was 20 lbs heavier than I had ever been.  My weight prior to the surgery February 2007 was very steady for years and resulted in a nice wardrobe I’d still like to use!  Plus, now that I know I have osteoarthritis is is more important than ever to maintain a weight as low as possible to take as much pressure off my knees as I can.  I’d like to lose another 10-15 pounds but that will be more difficult with my new workout restrictions.  I still have some hope that after a rest, strengthening and weight loss I can return to a some low mileage running.

In case I don’t get to post again before next Friday, Merry Christmas!  I hope your holiday is safe, happy and filled with love and fibery goodness!

ETA:  Whoops!  I can’t believe I didn’t give the particulars!  One WHOLE skein (about 32″ left) Wollmeise merino superwash (weighed into two equal balls prior to start), toe up, Monkey lace, magic loop, two at a time. Cast on 24 for each sock. Short row heels with 10 left in center.

1. Notice how I totally avoided the preposition at the end of the sentence there? :P [↩]

Sorry, this wheel has been SOLD.

Selling my first spinning wheel only because I bought a new one. It’s an Ashford Traveller, double drive, double treadle, clear lacquer finish with two extra bobbins (total of 6) and lazy kate (does not come included with the traveller model). I’ve only had it about 2 years and spin infrequently. Works beautifully and I’d love to see it go to a good home…it was a great first wheel and easily portable.

There is only one “issue” I can see and it has been there since I put it together. For whatever reason, the screws that were sent were too long. You can decide whether to replace the screws. It doesn’t affect the function of the wheel at all and you really can’t even see them when looking at the wheel. Also, the original drive band broke, so I have a cotton replacement.

Same wheel new sells for $555. Value of extra bobbins is $22, lazy kate $20. I’m asking $485 which includes the shipping and insurance. Please feel free to ask any questions using my contact form. Even if you don’t want a wheel, maybe you know someone who does? Please spread the word so I don’t have to list it on ebay!

Well, today is another day.  I think it helped a little to get all of that out yesterday and I really appreciate the support I’ve gotten.  Of course I couldn’t totally let it go (and I probably won’t be able to for a while) so I did some more research yesterday to get a little more clear on the terms being used in osteoarthritis/chondromalacia.  Of course, I’m no doctor…this is just my understanding based on a lot of reading.

Chondromalacia in itself is not really a diagnosis.  It really is just a descriptive term for the condition of cartilage.  Chondro=cartilage. Malacia=softened.  If you have a mostly normal joint and get some chondromalacia under the kneecap that causes pain, 6 months of rest from the irritating activity might alleviate it and all the cartilage to heal somewhat (cartilage is notoriously hard to heal due to lack of blood supply).  If the joint stays inflamed, it can set up a cycle of damage that permanently affects the cartilage and bone which is what people commonly mean when they say they have arthritis.  The source of inflammation varies (eg. rheumatoid is auto immune, osteoarthritis is mechanical), but the end result is chondromalacia or softening of the cartilage and damage to the joint.  Some people can have a lot of joint damage and no pain, some can have lots of pain and little damage.  Currently I have lots of pain and moderate damage.  The the best way to prevent more joint damage is to use the joint in a way that protects the remaining cartilage, which most doctors think is non weight bearing exercise.  However, if you have healthy joints to start with don’t think that running causes osteoarthritis!  There have been multiple studies that show this just isn’t the case and that it may even be protective.  In fact, after reading these studies again it gives me hope that I may be  able to return to running at some point (especially if they get this whole stem cell thing down…there has already been some success with knee cartilage regeneration).

My short term plan is evolving as I am beginning to accept the reality of the situation.  I’m in pain.  That has to stop and since running makes it worse that has to stop too.  I’m getting older and I can can’t afford to be cavalier with my health.  I’m going to have to commit to  doing the physical therapy exercises to make the tendons and ligaments surrounding my knee as strong as possible.  I’m going to have to work on my weak hip abductors and imbalance in strength between my hamstrings and quads, all of which are classically related to knee pain and instability.  If I can successfully do all of that maybe I can return to at least some running without doing further damage to my joints.

In the meantime I’m thankful that I have supportive friends and family, have health care insurance and I can walk.  Being in that wheelchair last weekend gave me a taste of what life could be like and I need to be focused on how much I have and how lucky I am, not whining about my exercise routine.  Wishing you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope you have lots to be thankful for too.

I’ve mentioned before I have some knee pain but I don’t think I’ve ever written about the whole story. This is going to be kind of long but I think it might be good to write it all out if for no other reason than to have a record for myself even if no one else reads it. For the conclusion/current plan/plea for advice, skip to the last couple of paragraphs before the italics. First of all, I started running in 1992 after I finally left retail and decided to try to get my health back. I slowly built up to running several miles at a time, started enjoying races and ran the Long Island Marathon May 1995. After a while I quit doing races but kept running. I was always sensible about training and never had any real injuries. Anytime I’d feel something coming on, I’d ice, take a couple of days off and I’d be fine. I began seriously training for marathons two other times over the years but I’d start getting tendinitis or some other nagging problem and again, sensibly back off.

Before I had the hysterectomy in 2007 I had to take a couple months off from running because it was causing pain and discomfort with the girly bits. When I returned to running after the surgery, I began noticing some knee pain which I chalked up to starting over again and being 20 pounds heavier than I’d ever been. It persisted for months, I took ibuprofen and switched to running every other day. I kept my mileage down to 16-20 miles per week. The pain never really went away and began getting worse this year, which is what prompted me to finally see the orthopedic doctor that did my shoulder rehabilitaiton and eventual surgery back in June 2005 (mumford procedure/sub-acromial decompression if you’re wondering…makes me think I must’ve been sold some bum joints all together). After an MRI, she told me I had osteoarthritis and chondromalacia, which basically means a bunch of cartilage damage in the knee. She put me on diclofenac and I got a cortisone injection in each knee which didn’t really help. They contacted my insurance and I was approved for Synvisc, which is pretty much like a nice, cushy oil change for the knees. I did feel better after that and I think I was pretty much in denial…I convinced myself that this could be my last chance to run a marathon and proceeded with my training as planned for the Phoenix marathon in January. Overall it was going as could be expected, I was still in pain but at a tolerable level. The longest run I got to was 13.5 and while not totally pleasant while actually doing it I recovered fine.

The next week I had 15 miles scheduled. On my shorter runs I’d been having a sharp pain on the outside of my right knee that would immediately go away maybe 2-3 times a run. The frequency increased a bit and I thought maybe I’d have to back off training soon. I figured I’d go ahead with the 15 as planned then make a decision. Well, I should have known it would go poorly…the indicators were there but I wasn’t listening to my body as well as I had in the past because I was being stubborn about this possibly being my last chance to run a marathon given the state of my knees. I had to cut it short and had several instances of that sharp medial pain. The next day we left for Hilton Head to go to a wedding. At that point, I had pretty much decided I had to stop training for the marathon but I had no intention of quitting all together. I figured I’d back off the long runs and I’d be back to “normal”. So I took a day off then followed up with my scheduled 4 & 6 miles Friday and Saturday. The running and biking trails in Sea Pines, SC are amazing! There are miles and miles of paved trails and some of the vegetation makes it feel like running in a jungle. In addition to my runs, we did a lot of additional, walking around, played golf for the first time in about 3 years and did a 10 mile bike ride…in retrospect none of which was probably good for my knees considering the current state of affairs.

Finally on Sunday we planned to spend the day in Savannah before we had to be at the airport to head home. We began a walking tour and after 2 hours I noticed my knee was very sore and I was beginning to have a lot more of those sharp pains. We had lunch and I had trouble getting up…I had pants on so I didn’t really notice it but when I checked in the bathroom my right knee was about 3 times normal size. It continued to get worse and I hobbled back to the car leaning on Jim. By the time I got to the car, it was so swollen and painful I couldn’t walk at all and had to use a wheelchair in the airport. I called my orthopedic doctor first thing Monday morning but ended up going to the emergency room because my whole leg swelled and my foot was numb (we were worried I might have a clot) in addition to being in a lot of pain. They did an x-ray, doppler test, gave me drugs and recommended follow up with my orthopedic (DUH). Tuesday Dr. Andrews drained 45 cc of fluid from my knee, injected more cortisone and ordered another MRI. By the end of the day I was getting around without crutches. I took a couple of days completely off then tested it Friday with 30 minutes on the elliptical. It was still tender but pretty good. I walked 4 miles with Jim and the dogs on Sunday then helped with the leaves with no pain. Yesterday I ran 4 miles…I had just one little pull on the outside of the right knee again. Which brings me to today, one week later. While the serious pain is gone I have the soreness I’ve had every day for the last couple of years.  The MRI showed no tears.  This pretty much boiled down to a case of doing too much with a compromised joint.  She still never said I totally had to quit running but when I pressed it said I had come to her in pretty bad shape and that I should focus on non-impact exercise like swimming, elliptical and cycling.  By they way, I enjoy cycling and do it a lot when I’m in Arizona but it’s not practical in OH (weather, lack of bike lanes and inconsiderate drivers make it downright dangerous).  When the time comes that we finally move there I’m pretty sure cycling will become my knee “solution”.

I’m now at a crossroads. This has been really difficult to take the last couple of months. I have a feeling it is the same for other runners or cyclists or triathletes, etc. Once you’ve been doing it for a while it becomes part of your self image and self worth. It’s part of who you are. And what am I without it? I’m having a serious crisis of self.  Add that to the fact that I’ve never enjoyed the gym and you’ve got a very depressed diva.  I guess it comes down to my goals and health for the future. I have to force myself to realize I may need to modify my behavior now in order to enjoy a pain free future, no matter how difficult that may be for me now.  I’m almost crying just writing this…pitiful. I’d love to hear from other athletes about how you’ve dealt with similar situations. I need all the help I can get!

On a related note, my MRI reports. I’d also like to hear form any one with experience in this area. Chondromalacia patella, from what I’ve read is very common and lots of people will show this on MRI even if no pain is present. Prognosis is a little more uplifting, though it requires complete rest from aggravating activities for up to 6 months and can be hard to get rid of. From what I’ve read, osteoarthritis is hard to distinguish from this so I’m not really sure how to determine which is primary. This would have been a great question for my doctor, but I think even they have trouble differentiating. I’ve been on glucosamine/chondroitin for months and while I haven’t reduced pain it certainly can’t hurt. I also take flax oil for the omega-3.

Technical:

MRI 1, 9/21/09:  Mild patellar spur noted.  The articular cartilage of the lateral patellar articular facet is at least moderately narrowed.  Focal severe areas of narrowing of this lateral patellar cartilage are present.  Subchondral degeneration involves the patella dn teh adjacent anterior femur at the lateral aspect of the patellofemoral joint.

Mild to moderate focal narrowing of the articular cartilage of the distal femur is present.

No joint fluid or bursal fluid collections are present.  The meniscal cartilage cruciate ligaments, the patellar tendons and collateral knee ligaments are normal.  No stress fractures or marrow edema is present at the knee.

Impression:  Moderate chondromalacia of the knee and patella.  Focal areas of cartilage loss noted at the lateral patellar articular facet and at the distal femur.  Osteoarthritis patellofemoral joint.

MRI 2, 11/17/09:  The popliteal vessels are patent.  There is distention of the knee joint, which may relate to the injection of medication or pre-existing joint effusion.

The quadriceps tendon is not torn.  There is soft tissue swelling superficial to the quadriceps tendon and adjacent portion of the lateral retinaculum, which may relate to the therapeutic injection and arthrocentesis.  The cruciate ligaments, MCL and lateral ligamentous complex do not demonstrate tears.

Multifocal chondromalacia at the patellofemoral joint.  Chondral fissuring extending to the depth of cortical bond with subchondral arthropathic cystic change in the median ridge.  Narrowing of the hyaline cartilage at the lateral facet of the patella.  Subchondral arthopathic systic change of the lateral facet and anterior portion of the lateral femoral condyle.

The retinacula appear intact.  Slight patellar tilting but without evidence for lateral subluxation.  Medial and lateral meniscus do not demonstrate tears.  There is edema within the superolateral aspect of Hoffa’s fat pad, which may relate to the procedure prior to the imaging or this may relate to an abnormality of patellar tracking.

The popliteus tendon sheath is mildly distended.  There is soft tissue swelling within the popliteal fossa and extending superiorly and interposed between the musculature of the thigh.  There is also extension distally and interposed between the musculature of the proximal posterior calf.

Focal region of intraosseous ganglion formation at the anterior aspect of the intercondylar eminence and slightly medially.

Conclusion:  The dominant findings relate to patellofemoral chondromalacia.  Multifocal regions of shondral narrowing and fissuring.  Subchondral osteoedema of the patella, as well as similar findings associated with the anterior aspect lateral femoral condyle or lateral portion of the trochlear groove.

One of my online fibery friends and fellow runner, Claudia Hall Christian, just released her book “The Fey” in .pdf  format for free!  You can read it on your computer or for just 45 cents you can have it on your Kindle.  Or, if you want a paper copy of your very own, you can find it at Amazon. Congratulations to Claudia on her second serial fiction book!

Isn’t it about time for some knitting content?  I cast these on for the trip…toe up monkeys, 2 at a time on magic loop.  It’s been a while since I knit socks and it appears I may have lost some of my mojo along the way!  I went to do my standard short row heel and got holes!  Holes people…I thought I was way beyond that as an experienced sock knitter!  Ripped it out and started over.  Holes again.  Really?  I have no idea what my problem is.  Let them sit for a couple of weeks then ripped again and decided to revisit Maia’s Toe Up Gusseted Heel.  I’ll let you know how that goes.

Flash back to mid October…one week in Arizona turned into two, not that I am complaining!  The weather was fantastic the entire time and I was not looking forward to returning to the cold, rainy, Cincinnati fall.  The flooded kitchen project was supposed to have been completed by the 4th, then the 12th , but if you’ve ever dealt with any kind of home project like that you know that they are never on time.  It wasn’t Über behind though and we are thoroughly happy with the result.  It’ll be nice to have a kitchen again next time we are there although we still have to put everything back in the cabinets and do some dust and grime cleanup.

The main negative of no kitchen is having to eat every meal out, especially if you happen to be on a diet!  Despite that little wrinkle, I managed to lose 2.5 more pounds while I was gone.  I normally make good choices in restaurants anyway but keeping it down to that few calories a day was much more challenging.  I think I may have overestimated many meals because the lack of nutrition information at most restaurants makes it difficult to get an accurate total of what you’re really eating.  To recap the diet plan, I started on September 13 using Sparkpeople.com to count calories with a 1200-1500 calorie a day target, keeping my normal running schedule of 20 miles a week while gradually adding miles as I am training for the Phoenix marathon.  I also added in the 30 Day Shred DVD, but gave that up because it was causing too much stress on my knees.  Sunday the 18th was 5 weeks and I’ve lost 9.5 pounds so far.  I’m pretty happy with that but I think I could have done better if I had access to my kitchen the entire time!  Now here I am at the November 1 weigh in and down a total of 11 pounds in 7 weeks.  I had a little stall out week 6 and I’m starting to wonder if I should adjust my calories a bit?  Does my body think it’s not getting enough and starting to slow down my metabolism?  Maybe those of you a little more experienced with dieting can weigh in on that.  I know it can happen with too few calories and a lot of activity but I can’t believe I’m actually to that point yet.  The Biggest Losers don’t seem to have that problem and they’re working out way more than I do!